can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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