I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
