I just threw up on my dentist
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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