the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
