You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My life is pants optional.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
