I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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