I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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