saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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