tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
