I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
