i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
