if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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