is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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