Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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