and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
