Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
420 ftw
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
