I've blown a few things in my day
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
