piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
