i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
