I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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