Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
