woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
