Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
