u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
