Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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