i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
there is glitter all over my balls
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