Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
