ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my being single is dangerous.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
