haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
