I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
