Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
