alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
COCAINE IS GR8
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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