This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
its not stalking. its research.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Drunk is not a location!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
