New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
