she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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