the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
