and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
