just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
