he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
