were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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