**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
