he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
