I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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