he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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