Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize