We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
