just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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