end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize