That's when you crack a 10am beer
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
