I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
