That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
