Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize