You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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