it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
