awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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