To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
