Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Your penis caused this!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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