I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
